Welcome to Day 4 of our Back-to-school week special. Today, we continue our countdown of Tom Asacker's Ten Truths with #4 and #3:

Truth Four - From Interesting to Interested

"It doesn’t matter what people think about you or your company. What matters is how you make people feel about themselves and their decisions in your presence."

"Take a look at 99.999% of all marketing communications, from Web sites and direct mail, to sales sheets and advertising. They're all SHOUTING . . . "Look at me!" "Am I great, or what?" "Buy me!" and other irritating noise that no one gives a damn about. This loud voice of business is completely out of touch with the subtle, more compelling voice in the heads of today's audience. Why? Because people aren't interested in you. They want you to be interested in them, and to show them how their association with you will help them feel better about themselves.

"I don't know why so many people and organizations get this wrong, but I have a guess. I think it's because being genuinely interested in others, and working to understand their feelings and motivations, is tough: it's imprecise, messy, and time consuming. It's much easier and faster to talk about something that we know a lot about . . . us and our stuff! We simply memorize all of the pertinent facts and then when it's time, flip the brain/mouth switch and out it pours.

"It's also easier to simply bury our heads and focus on getting things done, isn't it? "Five sales calls to make . . . better get hustling!" "Two ads to create, as well as a capability brochure and a direct mail piece. No time to think." "The company is measuring me on number of transactions. Slow down and listen? Yeah . . . right." But guess what? That's great news for you! Because by being other-focused and truly interested in your audience, you'll stand out. Simply because no one else is doing it.

"(...)If you want people to pay attention to your communication, you must tune into their frequency. Their current situation. Their anxieties, desires and fears. Establish an emotional bond based on your audience's feeling of finally having been understood by someone. Because if people feel that you are genuinely interested in them, they’ll be much more likely to open up and interact with you, and give you the information that you need. So stop, sit down and scrutinize every single piece of company communication, from sales presentations to annual reports. Do they speak to your audience in terms of what's most important to them? Do they speak with passion and caring and energy? Will they make their eyes grow wide and pulse quicken?"

Truth Three - From Capture to Attract

"Metaphors matter! They condition our sensibilities and behavior. Stop trying to force fit today's complex market environment into the outdated models of yesterdays' much simpler time."

"Peruse any business publication or be the proverbial fly on any organizational wall and you'll be repeatedly exposed to war and sports metaphors. You know: capture market share, armed with information, attack the competition, hit a homerun, go the distance, raise the bar, and so forth. It's difficult to change your thinking when you're surrounded by such inapt language. How can anyone treat customers like friends when they're consistently referred to as targets to be captured or territories to be conquered? How can you expect initiative taking, when managers are busy ordering the troops around and the troops are sitting around waiting for new marching orders? And how can you hope to build long-term, mutually beneficial relationships when you're busy hooking them and reeling them in."

"I've got news for you: Business is not war and it is not a sport. That's yesterday's worn-out thinking again. And by continuing to speak yesterday's language, you are unwittingly sustaining yesterday's ineffective actions."

"(...) Metaphors do a lot more than simply enrich your speech. They structure your thinking. They condition your sympathies. They direct your attention and influence your decisions and actions. James Autry, retired CEO of Meredith Corporation wrote: Becoming a manager has much to do with learning the metaphors; becoming a good manager has much to do with using the metaphors; and becoming a leader has much to do with changing the metaphors."

"The marketplace is not an objective process, like a physical science where you try to influence the behavior of chemicals in a beaker or balls on a pool table. Appealing to customers is a subjective blend of art and science, where you're subtly attempting to influence feelings (and thus, behavior). You're dealing with the perceptions and actions of intelligent, curious, socially influenced human beings. People whose preferences change constantly, especially in the United States of Extravagance. So stop looking at business as chemistry, physics or mathematics, and begin seeing it for what it really is: a study in social psychology."

"When asked what single event was most helpful to him in developing his theory of relativity, Einstein answered: "Figuring out how to think about the problem." With his enlightening answer in mind, here's a mental model to help you think about your problems and stay aware of and adapt to the increasing number of sudden and unexpected shifts in the marketplace:

"Think of yourself as a magnet, and your audience as iron filings. You could either say that you - the magnet - cause the iron filings to move towards you. Or you could say that the iron filings value movement towards you. Scientifically speaking, both statements are exactly the same. But metaphorically speaking, they are very different. To believe that you cause your audience to move towards you implies certainty. To believe that your audience values movement towards you implies preference.

"By adopting the cause-and-effect metaphor, you’ll have a tendency to follow formulaic thinking, even in the face of changing customer preferences and declining business. In 1999, The Gap reported profits of over $1 billion. Two years later, they lost close to $8 million. How? What happened to all of their loyal customers? What was going on in their world and why? The Gap should have been obsessed with finding out, and I'm not even sure that they were curious. Instead, they focused on their own world. They continued to pour money into television advertising, assuming it to be a formula for causing sales. It's a common mistake.

"Our assumptions - our mental models - determine what we see. We think we know what's going on and what the solutions are, and so we filter out everything that doesn't fit our way of thinking.

"Stop filtering and start rethinking your business problems. You can begin by dropping the words "loyalty" and "retention" from your lexicon. Why? Because repeat patronage was never anything more than a series of mutual concessions. (...) It has absolutely nothing to do with loyalty. It has to do with staying tuned in to your audience’s changing preferences."

See you guys tomorrow, when we will finish the week with the remainder of Tom's truths.

Have a great Thursday, everyone.